My day and my world changes.
What I planned to do changes because of what I must do.
Reading a text from my son’s friend changes the day and more.
The run I expected to go on doesn’t happen.
I pick up my husband, instead of changing into running clothes.
Instead of running, I’m driving to a hospital – praying.
I find myself panicking at what all could be wrong.
The message from his snowboarding buddy replays in my mind.
Joe landed hard on his right side – couldn’t breathe at first.
I recall him saying that Joe walked over to the first aid building.
And I breathe easier thinking of cracked ribs and bruises.
Instead of him being paralyzed or worse.
The chaplain takes us to a small room.
The doctor enters the room with a concerned face.
With words that sound odd to me, “Your son is a very sick boy.”
I realize this will not be as good as I’ve convinced myself it will.
I hear words from the doctor – bleeding, kidney, life-threatening!
I scream quietly to God for help – give me strength and peace!
I feel a measure of peace – it comes from deep within.
I breathe deep a few times – oxygen is good for me.
I wipe tears away and force myself to hear the ugly words.
I am calm again. I can talk. “What can you do to help Joe?”
Surgery, cat scan, blood transfusions – the words continue.
“We’ll save the kidney if we can. But if bleeding persists, we’ll have to remove it.”
The doctor leaves. I’m glad. I heard all the words I can handle.
Plus I want him to be with Joe. Joe needs him.
And Joe needs a mom with enough peace that she can pray – for him and for the doctors.
I feel that peace – the peace I recognize that is not my own.
It’s not something I can manufacture or motivate myself.
It’s peace from my creator – the maker and giver of peace, even when I’m terrified.
As I pray I realize the “peace that passes understanding” is strong enough to hold me this moment even though I don’t know what the outcome of this “suddenly” in our world will be.
This post is part of the Blog Carnival – Peace – hosted by Bridget Chumbley over at One Word at a Time.
PSS. New readers – my son Joe was injured on Sat. Jan. 16, 2010. He is at home now recovering from having his right kidney removed because it was split in half from the impact. He is expected to make a full recovery. I posted updates about his injury and hospital stay, starting here. Here’s a recap post.