I rebelled during my teen years when my questions became actions and I pushed the boundaries. I not only rebelled against the rules of my parents and their church, but also against God. Because if following that God meant following a list of rules, I didn’t need God in my life.
At seventeen, a friend and I decided to go to a Christian concert. I normally didn’t listen to Christian music, but my interest was peaked, because the singer was local girl about my age, who had just released her first record.
I was amazed – she stood on that stage with confidence about God that I hadn’t previously seen in anyone. She talked and sang about Him, like He was her friend. She didn’t mention a list of rules to follow. She said He loved us “just as we were.”
I was surprised at my boldness – expecting to be hit with lightening. When no lightening came, I slowly tried to play the record again.
If you would have peeped in my window a minute later – you’d have seen a shaken 17-year old girl sitting on the edge of her bed with the words and music of the album flowing perfectly from the record player.
I’d like to tell you that I started seeking more that day. But no, I learn slowly. I pondered it. Then reason set in and I excused it – it wasn’t God or anyone else. The turntable had just needed some time to loosen up, to get the dust bunnies out of it – that’s all it was.
Yet, the inner stirrings of my spirit were too real to ignore. I knew it deep within even as I went on with my life in the normal way. Slowly over the next few years, step by step, I was drawn to learn more about that stirring. It’s been a bumpy path, but when confused, I come back to the confidence I had the night my creator connected with me through a dusty record player.