Forgiveness is an ironic thing … so opposite from what the tapes/thoughts in my head would tell me. If I say something that I realize later was unkind and might have hurt another person, I think that if I don’t quite feel forgiven, then I will be ‘better’ from now on … like my sense of shame/guilt will make me be ‘better’ and help me remember not to do that again. When the truth is … that will bog me down!
If I skip too many days of spending time with God (reading/praying/mediating) or even just being aware of Him as I go through my day, I want to walk around in shame, kicking myself for the lack of self-discipline. But does that make me enjoy spending time with God and seeing Him as the loving Father that He is … NO! … it can actually keep me from doing it because I feel so ashamed.
On the other side of the coin, if I ask God for forgivenss (and the person, if the situation merits it) and allow myself to receive it in my spirit, I am free … free to be the person God wants me to be – free to ‘talk’ with Him all the time, free to love, to encourage and to forgive others. And living in that freedom, is when I will be fully alive.
The glory of God can be seen in a person living fully alive!