I want …

The pain and sadness around me, makes me want to ask – what is the meaning of life? No wait … I’m not ready to ponder that question today. I just want to deny all the hurt and pain. I want to put my head in the sand and stop thinking about how to help myself or others.

There are a few ways that I help myself through times like this …
The first, I savor time in nature. I want to sit in the warm sun and relax. I want to smell a fragrant rose. I want to see and hear water. I want to take a walk in the woods and step on crunchy leaves. I want to wrap myself in a blanket and stare at the stars.
Or … I want to read a good book … any story that takes me away from the story I am in the middle of right now.
Or … I want to do something concrete … I like to organize facts and data in a graph. I want to plan the details of an event. I want to write out an agenda for an upcoming meeting. (don’t know if we would follow it, but it gives me a feeling of control)

At one time if I would have chosen any of these three rather then dealing with the reality I am in the middle of, I would have felt guilty for avoiding reality, but now I realize ‘there is a season for everything’ and if I give my mind/soul/spirit the rest I need for a time, I will be able to process in a healthier mode later.
That reminds me of this wonderful prayer …

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr
… okay, since it’s dark and cold outside and I don’t have any good books right now, it’s time to organize an event 🙂

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