I have been asking questions since the day I could talk … and I like answers to everything. My thought used to be, if I just keep asking, searching, reading … someone, somewhere should somehow be able to answer all my questions. Lately I have been hearing another message from a few different sources. It is refreshing and helping me find a balance.
First: Audrey is a spiritual Mother to me … she told me after the accident that she will walk with me and help me process this part of my journey. She graciously listens, she introduces me to great authors and she shares her life experience (both positive and negative) with me. Recently she has been talking about the ‘mysteries’ of life … she said that there will always be mysteries, things that we will not understand or questions that we will not have answered.
Second: Out of the mouth of babes … my big, strapping, handsome, thoughtful son. He recently shared some of his thoughts at an event with other teens. He is tired of people that feel as if they have to have an answer for everything, especially in the things that are not of this world. He feels there are some things we, as puny humans, will not have answers to. He said that believers are especially quilty of this … talking about their ‘faith’ all the time and yet, wanting and/or acting as if they have all the answers. He concluded with this … if all the answers were known, we would not need faith.
Okay, the same message from both generations around me … now if I will listen and learn from those older and those younger. And also learn to be comfortable with “I don’t know.”
Sometimes it is still hard to get my mind around the fact and the ways of God. In my spirit … yes He is real. But sometimes, He’s not real in my head. Go through a typical day and life is tangible. It is real … I see, smell, hear, feel and taste many things all day.
But there is another world that is not so tangible and not so clear … I don’t connect with it in the physical ways that I do this world. Instead it is a connection with my spirit … a feeling within … a sense that there is more than this … a belief in the things not seen, heard, felt, smelled and tasted with my physical body. That belief or faith is what allows me to see God all around me, to see His fingerprints on my life, even in the mysteries.