I’m disappointed in myself… I’m having a hard time looking at pictures or video of Haiti. For the first day or so, I didn’t. I turned away when images were on the TV or clicked to another site when online to avoid seeing the images. I cared about them. I read everything I could find about it. Words I could handle – pictures I couldn’t.
I didn’t want to feel the pain that I knew I would if I looked.
I’m not totally heartless – I sent a text and clicked a button to send money that I was going to use for a new outfit for an event this weekend. That kind of ‘pain’ I can deal with – I have clothes in the closet to wear. But looking at the pictures – that involves pain I’m not sure what to do with.
But – millions are living through this hell day by day – moment by moment! Yet, I can’t even look at it?
I need to look at it – I need to feel the pain. Love doesn’t look away. Love cares enough to look and feel every ounce of pain there is to feel.
Only then is love real!
The God I follow is love. So I can be love also.
Yesterday I looked. I forced myself to see the sadness, loss and destruction. I forced myself to look into the faces and eyes. It hurt just like I knew it would. The pain was/is ugly.
Now what does love do with that pain?