I groaned as I headed to physical therapy – again. Following surgery on my foot, I was only two weeks into the process and the exercises were already tedious. 40 times left, 40 times right, up and down, around in circles – boring details of all the exercises that I needed to do day after day. Most of them felt insignificant and puny at the time and no outward change was evident. I wanted a strong ankle ASAP. I was not enjoying this day-by-day process.
Until it dawned on me – this was like my relationship with God. I want the result – having a strong connection to my creator and the change that can produce in my life. But too often, I am so busy looking for that result, I forget about the day-by-day choices that will produce the change I want.
While doing physical therapy, I could not see the muscles and tendons in my ankle gaining strength. Most days, when I finished, it did not feel any stronger than it did an hour earlier. Actually, often it felt tired and weak. I had to go by the knowledge of how the body works and what my therapist told me … these daily exercises would bring the strong ankle I desire.
It is much the same way with my connection to God; most times, I do not see anything happening in myself. While it can be peaceful and calm to read, pray, journal or be still … I am not holy when I finish. I am still a messy human. Nevertheless, I can choose to believe what God, my pastors and others I trust say. Day by day, choice by choice – renewal is happening in me.
Do not lose heart … inwardly we are being renewed day by day. Romans 4:16